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Gen. Alexander Released From NSA, Forced To Register As Spy Offender
FORT MEADE — Gen. Keith Alexander will be required to register as a spy offender after being released on Friday from the maximum security headquarters of the National Security Agency, sources...
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NSA Director Can’t Stop Wife From Reading His E-Mails
FORT MEADE, Md. — Just days after assuming his new post as Director of the National Security Agency, Central Security Service and U.S. Cyber Command, Adm. Mike Rogers was overheard complaining about...
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CIA Admits: Edward Snowden Was Top Assassin
LANGLEY, Va. — In response to Edward Snowden’s assertion that he was a spy for the U.S. government, the CIA has not only confirmed it, but added that Snowden was one of their top assassins. CIA...
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NSA Hails Apple’s New iPhone 6 And Smartwatch
FORT MEADE, Md. — On the heels of Apple’s Tuesday product launch for the iPhone 6, iPhone 6 Plus, and a new smart watch, drooling NSA officials clamored to convey widespread enthusiasm and support for...
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SNOWDEN: ‘Elf On A Shelf’ Actually Hugely Successful NSA Project
STOCKHOLM — Speaking via Google Hangout to officials in Sweden last week, former NSA Contractor Edward Snowden dropped a bag of coal on his former employers by revealing the hugely popular “Elf on a...
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Opinion: To Fight North Korea, We Need An Agency With Massive Surveillance...
The following is an opinion article written by Edward Snowden, a retired systems administrator. Last month, America fought its first cyber war and lost before it even started. North Korea’s hacking of...
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NSA Overturns Court’s Overturning Of Surveillance Program Ruling
WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented shift in legal proceedings, the NSA has overturned the US Court of Appeals’ decision that the mass collection of telephone metadata is illegal, Duffel Blog has...
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NSA Launches ‘Revenge Porn Site’
FORT MEADE, Md. — With the declassification of nearly all of the National Security Agency’s metadata following the expiration of the Patriot Act, the government agency announced today that they had...
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Head Of Cyber Command Worried Robot Maid May Kill Him In His Sleep
FORT MEADE, Md. — The commander of U.S. Cyber Command has expressed worry that his robot maid could someday kill him in his sleep, Duffel Blog has learned. Adm. Michael Rogers, who also oversees the...
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Report: NSA leak caused by Microsoft’s ‘Clippy’
FORT MEADE, Md. — The recent leak of National Security Agency hacking exploits appears to have been caused by Microsoft’s helpful office assistant, Clippy, according to current and former employees of...
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National Security Agency unveils classified dating app: ‘StripR’
FORT MEADE, Md. —The National Security Agency has announced their latest tech innovation, a dating app which runs on classified networks named StripR. Developers explained that many agency analysts...
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DoD to require passwords to be changed every day, use at least 27 different...
FORT MEADE, Md. – The Pentagon has announced new password requirements to beef up security on all DoD networks, Duffel Blog has learned. According to a recent memo, the DoD has made it a top priority...
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Nation shocked to learn top spy agency spies on people
WASHINGTON — The nation is in a panic after discovering that the Central Intelligence Agency — also known as the “CIA” according to recently-declassified documents — may be spying on people around the...
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NSA Intercepted Children’s Letters To Santa
FORT MEADE, MD – The National Security Agency routinely intercepts children’s letters to Santa, internal agency documents have revealed. The documents describe an operation known as MILK COOKIES,...
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The NSA Is Watching You Masturbate Right Now
YOUR HOME — You are among the millions currently being watched by intelligence analysts at the National Security Agency as you masturbate alone in your room, sources confirmed today. Documents leaked...
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